Defining Trust

I heard a podcaster once say, "it's not worth trying to figure out why you trust someone or not. You just do or you don't." They talked about how it was one of the few things that is inherently a gut response. You just know whether or not you trust someone. Of course I want to analyze this now. There’s gotta be truth to it, right? What are your thoughts?

There’s something within me that experiences ease when I feel trust between myself and another person. It is simple, it is fresh, it does not feel like a burden. There’s a connection that goes beyond words, as if our bodies align on the same wavelength. It’s a sweet sound that does not produce any anxiety. It is something that just feels right in my heart.

On the other hand, I feel a sort of dis-ease (ooh, isn’t that interesting!) when I encounter someone I do not trust. My stomach literally feels uneasy as I talk with them, and after leaving the conversation, I just don’t feel good. The goodness I feel in a loving and trusting environment is absent. And even deeper, it’s as if their words have layers to them. Someone I don’t trust may say something and yet deep down I feel the opposite of what they have said - kinda like they don’t actually believe what they are saying. Is this a quality of mistrust? Or distrust?

I find that when trust is present, I can be myself. It feels free and effortless, like there’s a cool breeze caressing my skin waving hello [with a smile]. I am safe to be vulnerable without bracing myself for the other person’s reaction. I can be me without thinking about it. When trust is present, there’s beauty in conversation. We are fully present with one another.

So maybe that’s the thing. Maybe trust is not around when the other person is not present. Maybe they are thinking about something else, or wondering what to say next. Maybe that person is trying to be the person they think you want them to be, when all anyone really wants is the true you.

Let’s present our truest self to the world. Let’s let others see us, and in turn, we get to see them. Let’s look for safety and connection, love and patience in our conversations with others.