How Do You Do That??? Part 3

To end my discussion on one of the most frequently asked questions I receive, I leave you with my thoughts beyond my training and past the acceptance of death.

I really don’t know. 

I am keenly aware that I am often in sad environments, but to me they are not that sad. I am with families who recount the “good ol’ days” and am a student of my patient’s memories, listening to them narrate times of freedom and joy. I frequently provide the gateway to a better day. I offer music on a rich-toned guitar, sing soothing songs, and play the flute with a sound soft as honey. I enjoy doing these things. 

I bring much-needed energy to the one who has not seen the sun in weeks. I help transport people out of their current state and into their favorite songs, nostalgic music, or on-the-spot improvisation. I utilize my gifts, talents, training, and expertise to help one person and a community of supporters find liberation from the confines of the given diagnosis and prognosis. I see hospice care not as the end of life but as another opportunity to be fully alive. I treat my work as a means to find expression and exploration when hospice is often misunderstood and seen as a place to hide behind a closed door.

I have had colleagues say that they couldn’t do the work I do and family members who don’t understand. When I say I work in hospice care, there is a somber hush that fills the room. On the other hand, though, I think about emergency responders – EMTs, firefighters, police, etc. – and I cannot imagine doing their job. I wonder how politicians can handle their jobs or the celebrities who live each day projected in front of the world to see. I respond with a somber hush when someone tells me anything about a job related to computers – ha! I don’t know how those people do their work, but we all have our place. Don’t we?

Sometimes when people ask me, “How do you do that?”, I respond with something that may seem arrogant. It is a response full of pride and confidence, a response that not everyone can stand behind. “I think I am the right kind of person for this kind of work and I cannot explain why.”

Photo by Tim Miller. tim-miller-photo.com