Don't Judge a Song By Itself

As a music therapist, I learn a lot of music. Songs from any decade, any genre, any style are requested in sessions, and that music informs the work we do together. It may be analyzing the lyrics, rewriting them, or processing through them. The songs suggested have something to say about that person’s life, culture, and faith. And what I’ve learned over the years that I’ve been a music therapist is to not judge a song by itself.

I grew up in the Christian faith, surrounded by hymns and songs about Jesus. I then got into ‘90s pop, growing up with the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys. I jumped on my bed and sang into my hairbrush to the catchy upbeat melodies. Then I picked up the flute and was immersed in the classical music world, and jazz, and marching band. These are the types of music that shaped me. And yet, some people hate the music I grew up with.

To be honest, I am not a huge fan of country music. There are some singers that make my ears hurt and other songs that are so repetitive it’s annoying… for me. I can have all the opinions in the world about certain music, but what does it matter! I won’t be listening to it anyway. As a music therapist, though, maybe I will.

I know more country songs at this point than I care to admit, and I think it’s a beautiful thing. I’m learning that songs are so rich, beyond what my ears may initially tell me. There is love, sadness, hope, and regret weaved through music. There are melody lines that are so enjoyable to sing; there are guitar intros that I never knew I would fall in love with. There are phrases that hold so much meaning in songs that I otherwise “don’t like.” So, I have changed the way I approach music.

Now I don’t say that I like or dislike a song until I spend some time with it. I try very hard to not judge a song by my preconceived idea bout it. As my best teachers, the people I work with bring out the emotional depth and connection I may have never seen in songs. Music therapy clients bring their music into my life, and something changes with my relationship with the music. Suddenly, I am falling in love with the song from a singer I never liked. I’m connecting with the words from a genre I dismissed. I repeatedly play a song I wrote off a long time ago. It’s as if the songs are changing, but rather it’s me that’s changing.

“Don’t judge a song by itself” is the best advice I could give to someone who is looking to expand their musical archive. If we write off someone because we don’t like their voice, we may be missing a piece of their words that hold so much value. We are giving up on an opportunity for connection. We are depriving ourselves of a world beyond our biases that may just expand our minds. Let’s open ourselves up to the music beyond our already crafted set of harmonic joys. Let’s broaden our intake of genres, widen our playlists, and let songs speak to us.